june 29th 2010 .

june 29 '10 happy 2nd friendaversary baby. i know we dont talk anymore due to all the drama. but to me, you'll always be my friend. til' this day, i still miss you more than anything. i can still remember the last day of school of gr7 as if it was yesturday. the way we fell for each other was so unexpecting. i wish i can go back in time to the time when we first became friends, but if i do.. i wouldnt have experienced all those amazing times with you. no matter how sad i am or how mad, you would always be the one to cheer me up. the voice i'd want to hear when the rest of the world walks out. sometimes i wonder, will we ever be as close as before again. to me, we were unseperatable. do you remember when we went to the movies last day of gr8 and it was pouring; you had your first ban-nay-nay.. or the time we went to the movies for pardeep's birthday when you spilt the slushie on me & aaron would keep saying my pants wern't wet? those were some good days wern't they? i wish we could have those times again. people say "there's a reason why people from the past didnt make it to your future".. baby, you were my future. at night when the rooms dark & quiet, i can still feel the rush that runs through my body when i hear your voice tell me you love me and the way you cried silently or fell asleep on me and pretend you didnt when i knew you did lol. sometimes i stay awake til' 6 in the morning just to feel that same feeling i use to have when we stayed up all night on the phone. when the stars are out, i watch them through the whole night. wishing we got that time to watch it together. ever since you said we'd watch the stars together one day, every night i see the stars, it reminds me of you. words honestly cant even explain how much i loved you & how much i still do. you told me that you'd love me forever & i'd always tell you, nothing lasts forever. i guess i cant say you were wrong because i will love you forever & always; you were right, things can last forever. they say time will mend a broken heart.. i'm stronger now but every time i see you or hear your voice, i get weak to my knees. i miss being in your arms. i regret so much for pushing you away and making you feel unloved when you wanted to be loved by me. i dont know what happened, everything happened so fast. i miss you mathewos. im struggling and trying so hard to get through the days without you now. when i see you, i wish i could just walk up to you like i use to and never have you let go of me. "baby stay, just 5 more minutes" i wish i never left, never said goodbye, never said we're over. i still cry once in a while but i smile after because i think about the times when you made me feel like the top of the world. i swear baby, i'm trying to let go.. pinky promise (K)