i cant breathe but i still fight, while i can fight, as long as the wrong feels right ; ♥

june 29th 2010 .

june 29 '10 happy 2nd friendaversary baby. i know we dont talk anymore due to all the drama. but to me, you'll always be my friend. til' this day, i still miss you more than anything. i can still remember the last day of school of gr7 as if it was yesturday. the way we fell for each other was so unexpecting. i wish i can go back in time to the time when we first became friends, but if i do.. i wouldnt have experienced all those amazing times with you. no matter how sad i am or how mad, you would always be the one to cheer me up. the voice i'd want to hear when the rest of the world walks out. sometimes i wonder, will we ever be as close as before again. to me, we were unseperatable. do you remember when we went to the movies last day of gr8 and it was pouring; you had your first ban-nay-nay.. or the time we went to the movies for pardeep's birthday when you spilt the slushie on me & aaron would keep saying my pants wern't wet? those were some good days wern't they? i wish we could have those times again. people say "there's a reason why people from the past didnt make it to your future".. baby, you were my future. at night when the rooms dark & quiet, i can still feel the rush that runs through my body when i hear your voice tell me you love me and the way you cried silently or fell asleep on me and pretend you didnt when i knew you did lol. sometimes i stay awake til' 6 in the morning just to feel that same feeling i use to have when we stayed up all night on the phone. when the stars are out, i watch them through the whole night. wishing we got that time to watch it together. ever since you said we'd watch the stars together one day, every night i see the stars, it reminds me of you. words honestly cant even explain how much i loved you & how much i still do. you told me that you'd love me forever & i'd always tell you, nothing lasts forever. i guess i cant say you were wrong because i will love you forever & always; you were right, things can last forever. they say time will mend a broken heart.. i'm stronger now but every time i see you or hear your voice, i get weak to my knees. i miss being in your arms. i regret so much for pushing you away and making you feel unloved when you wanted to be loved by me. i dont know what happened, everything happened so fast. i miss you mathewos. im struggling and trying so hard to get through the days without you now. when i see you, i wish i could just walk up to you like i use to and never have you let go of me. "baby stay, just 5 more minutes" i wish i never left, never said goodbye, never said we're over. i still cry once in a while but i smile after because i think about the times when you made me feel like the top of the world. i swear baby, i'm trying to let go.. pinky promise (K)

if loving you is wrng then i dont want to be right

& right now im incomplete like a heart without a beat ..

in this place, at this time
& i feel safe, when i look in your eyesi feel like i know ya, from another life and it makes me wish i wasn't so pressed by time I can't catch my breath, 'cause you take it away the best writer in town, could not find words to say how there's so many things, i wanna get to know i wish that i could stay, but i gotta go so ima call you tonight, i will baby
just as soon as i get time alone ima call you tonight, i will baby just as soon as i get home that's the way it goes, in life you get busy when you just don't wanna there's never enough time, day or night you have to make it, so baby im gonna make a way, to connect 'cause your face, is one i can't forget i feel like i know ya, from another life and it just makes wish i wasn't so pressed by time

" A guy that will love her for her, the one that would make him his only one...not his number one. "

I told you from the start, it's you and I til we dieAnd without you by my side, how could I surviveThings happen in our lives, struggles will ariseBut that don't mean we give up and say our goodbyesSometimes it's compromise, sometimes it means we cryBut we gotta try our best, cause who knows if we don't tryWe lose the best thing, I aint trying to do thatI don't want it at a point where I have to say "Come back"I know that on the phone you feel like you're aloneI know you're unhappy even though you don't let it showThis world is crazy, but nothing ever faze meI just want to be at home where I can hold my babyDon't know if I can take it, but I know i gotta make itThis tough journey right here, we just have to shake itOnly time will tell, we'll just have to seeBut I'm telling you now girl, please don't leave me
You ever want something so bad that you just can't have ?
You ever needed that one thing that's not in your grasp ?
Well its you that I'm wanting & needing like thatSo baby do me this favor & come right on back to meCome Back -

All these emotional conversations right now
with you & him,make me want to drop these tears i hold in .

" Close your eyes & count by twos . . when you get to five, I'll stop loving you . "

You always made me smile but a smile isn't forever

*Tired of trying. sick of crying. Yes, I'm smiling, but inside, I'm dying .

He said, "Girl you should go left and I will go right, we wasted enough time. But I think we should kiss, so we can take it with us to play in our minds. And if you feel a tear falling on your lips, then girl that would be mine. Cause I'm a man that ain't afraid to cry. See a man that ain't afraid to cry is a man that ...ain't afriad to die. And I'm crying baby!"

It all started so promising. Got my own diamonds, so I gave him back the promise ring.

they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but everytime i'm gone a little bit longer..

My mind tried to warn me, but my heart wouldn't hear it. Because the truth has to travel too far, from my head to my heart.

I swear this is the worst feeling. Like i've lost it all, but im too stuborn to admit it. And with everything i have to value in life, i can't keep my head up. This empty, lonely feeling may always follow me. perhaps i miss them so much, i'll never be the same.

I'm like a sunday morning, your like friday night. And when we kiss, it's the perfect weekend; no rain in sight. When I'm feeling incomplete, your my missing piece. And when you need your breathe taken away, i'll be your thief.

"Personal affection is a luxury you can have only after all your enemies are eliminated. Until then, everyone you love is a hostage, sapping your courage and corrupting your judgement."

The way you hug him, is the way he hugs me

Boy it's like the same complication, the same situation that we had a year ago. Babyboy, i'm sick of this debating, sick of all the waiting & i think that it's time to go...

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'Ineed you because I love you.

Empty words are better left unspoken.

Is it just me or can you feel when your day is just gonna suck? It's like a pain in your brain from the second you get up. Get out of bed, try to ignore it but it's right there on your nose. It's mission is to keep you miserable, i guess that's the way it goes.

I used to believe in love, I used to believe in fairy tales.

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."

There's nothing I hate more than a dude who makes me go days, weeks, even months without talking; just to have me give up, break down and give in !

Boy I really, really, really wanna let you know; that I really, really, really can't let you go.And even if we never get it back you see, you can still come and holla at me.

Love didn't knock me down, you did.

Not much competition though. I mean of course, just the same same ol' bitches in plain clothes, playin' the same roles.