We haven't talked or hung out much but i was dying to see you. All i could think about was to be with you to remind you our love is still there. I faced my fears for whatever i thought was gona happen and went to see you. We joked around & laughed. Thats when i realized, i AM happy with you. You're the only thing that truly makes me happy. I always doubted you & i still wonder why i did. When you walked me halfway home, you kissed me before we departed. That's when my whole like changed. I miss being with you so much. Everytime i replay myself lying down on your bed while you hold me. Baby your the best thing that has happened to me. i'll always love you . .

put my fears aside & had the strength to text you. to my surprise, you texted me back. you carried on our conversations but suddenly... it all died out. & i really thought you were happy we were talking again. i was wrong, like always. it really sucks cause i implied to you that i still love you. now i think to myself.. was that the right move? maybe it was... maybe it wasnt. i still miss you more than anything. im sitting here watching my cell, waiting for you to text me again but seconds, minutes, hours past & theres still... nothing ... if only, i can just read your mind."he said, i was the one." - " i said it to get into her pants... it worked.' baby, did you do the same?honestly.

baby... every night i cry & i cry but even if i cry an ocean, i still wouldnt be back in your arms. daum i thought id be better off without you but baby i was wrong..completely wrong. id give my tomorrow to go back to the day where you called me baby & you loved me to death. i cant ask for anything more than to be with you happily one last time. when i think about you, i still have this warm feeling rushing through my body. i picture us & i could feel you holding me, not wanting me to go. close my eyes & i see us everywhere we've been together happily. from the back of the library to your bed. take me back to those days where i woke up to be able to feel your touch. im still here baby. im not going anywhere without you. if crying & sleeping is what it takes for me to see us together... id do all that unconditonally. trust me baby id do anything to have you love me & only me for the last time. i promise you everything will be perfect. i know ive said this the last time but baby we've been through so much this time. why do every hello ends with a goodbye... ? im on my knees, baby please come back to me. i cant live a single day on this earth without you anymore. it's raining like crazy in my world. hold me close & think about what we had baby. i know you still remember those days. just bring them back to reality...
I'm still right here . . .

everyday time passes when your not here, i believe that i can make it out there without you. i put a smile on my face to help myself believe everything will be alright. i see couples together in every room i stand in. no matter what i do, everything reminds me of you. it's been a month and two days since you've been gone. im missing you like crazy. there are days where i sit here & cry for you to come back. even though we've been through the things we've been through. i know if we were to get back, it would never make sense. sometimes i wish i could go back to the day i wanted that break & everytime you faught for me, i would kiss you & never let go. you were once mine & i took that for granted. i let my emotions take over & made you prove to me that you truly loved me & wanted me. i regret everything i've done but then again, if i hadn't done that... i wouldn't have known the real you. now i realized that i was wrong for changing you. but baby, i miss every second of the moment we cherished. even from this day, i dont know if i would regret being with you. you were the one who always made me happy. you were the only reason i had a reason to live. without you here now, everything seems like a mess. there are so many things running through my mind. if only i knew the answers to them. i love you baby & i always will. but i need to question myself, is love really enough? yes i know, most of our relationship was based on sex. i was never ready for that yet. but why...why do i feel like even though it was all about sex...i'd accept all that just to have you back? my heart aches secretly everyday...everyday since you've been gone. this is my life & these are my emotions. i can never seem to tell anyone much about our relationship because it was between me & you. i cant trust anyone now. i dont even think i can trust myself. you use to say "baby im nothing without you..i need you" but boo, i think you were talking about me. your everything without me... maybe one day you'll realize im your one & only just like you said .

I tried to fight it, but I'd rather give in
Through all this hurt, wondering what could have been?
When I'd wish I could tiptoe
Out of this hiding and pretending
And finally put an end to this endless waiting

See, I've lost myself in this love
When I've tried walking away but I can't,
When I've done everything I could,
When I've chosen what I want and need
But wondering where this will all lead...

I let rivers of tears fall from my eyes,
Cried over everything, the truth and lies.
When I wipe away the tears off my face
and embrace these feelings I can't erase,
I hope to God that one day,
in true love, you'll see
and that someday...
Finally...
You'll choose to be with me...

i guess as the days go by that i'm not with you i start to wonder if i'm still there in your heart . would you tell me if you have lost feelings ? would you tell me that there is someone new ? would you ever be okay with the way you have left me , the way you have hurt me ? i'm still lost and confused without you . you were a big part of me , you were my everything and now you're gone and i'm having the hardest time coping with this pain . i miss you , i love you but i must endure this pain because baby i'm not giving up . i miss when you were here with me , will you ever come back to me ? as days go by i start to miss you more and more . it kills me still that we aren't together . it's been a while and baby i still want you back , but i guess you don't feel the same . baby come prove me wrong . it will never be the same again . i believe .. don't you ever forget that . i still love you ..

It's been exactly a month now & Every night i lie down on the bed with the lights off & the room dark, i reminsce back to the days listening to your heartbeat on your bed while you whisper to me "together forever" . We promised each other we'll watch the stars one night as a day to remember. You're gone & now i feel like everything between us was all an act .
daum baby, were they just said to make love ? I'm sitting here wondering, was our whole relationship a lie? Whatever happened to us. Forever was what we've always said . I guess now we know that there's no such thing as forever. Baby my philosphy was us . How can that ever happen without you here . Close your eyes, think about us . Tell me you don't feel the same way i do . I didn't believe in us but boo, i think i do now . I belong with you & you know that. I'm there in your heart & i'll always will be . Did you forget about me? Please, just kiss me one last time & take a look in my eyes . Tell me you're nothing without me . Tell me you miss me . Tell me you'd rather be alone than with anyone else . Whisper in my ears you love me . I'm right here baby, im not going anywhere just say those words you mean with all your heart & i'll be in your arms again . No one can ever replace you . You're my life ...

" 6,470,818,671 people in the world. sometimes all you need is one . " - PEYTON SAWYER

i could,

I could go on with my day and act like everything is okay. But as my life goes on it hurts more in every way.

someday,

someday my wish is for him to hold me in his arms, in a sea of deep blue, together at last, together as two.